Hello my angel

(Written and sent to her on January 14th, 2009, 17 days before she died)

It´s midnight and here I am thinking of you...

I miss you by my side in bed Lea! I miss you by my side, in every occasion, not only in bed. But it is at night, when I switch off the lights to sleep, that I imagine all the things that happened (and much more that still CAN happen), and I feel terribly your absence! I want your hands on my hair again... I want your head resting on my chest again... I want to wake up with you curled over my body again… I want to hold hands with you on the street again… I want to hear you laugh again… I want your kisses! And more kisses!

All I think includes you Lea. Everywhere I go it’s as if you’re there. I want you with me, and I am writing this mail because I really need to tell you one thing. I really need to be sure that you really understand me, ok? So here is what I need do tell you: I have absolutely no idea of what will happen in my life, of course, but I need you to know that I would give up everything for you! I would live anywhere, just as long as you wanted me and you loved me too. I just want you to know that. I never met anyone in my life so sweet and gentle, so deserving of my feelings. When I think of you my body cells hurt! I feel almost physical pain, you know?

Well, I just needed to tell you this, right now, even if it’s late and I’m completely exhausted! I need no Masters! I need no wonderful job! I don’t need to be rich! I could do anything, I could live everywhere in this world… Just as long as you would want to share your life with me, just as long as I could deserve your love…

Sometimes people get sad… sometimes people can’t understand some things that happen. Maybe if some things were said, maybe if people talked more about what they feel, just maybe some misunderstandings could be avoided! I want no misunderstanding between us Lea! I want you to know for sure this: I will give up everything for you. I feel that without you I have really nothing…

I love you. I want you. I miss you.