Memory is a funny thing: what we remember, and how we remember it, never ceases to surprise me.

After I came from Slovakia, in the beginning of January, I spent a few days with very good friends of mine in Porto. I’ve told you about them (how I wish now that you’ve met). And while I was there, one day we went to a store and I found myself looking for a small thermal cup in which to keep warm my coffee or tea.

When I met you in Latvia I remember you always carried one of that everywhere. And I was looking for one like yours because, maybe, I wanted to be more like you! Maybe I wanted more and more things that would identify me with you! I don’t know…

This night – again full of dreams of which I can’t remember, as most of my nights lately – I woke up with a fading memory of a dream: I was searching the internet and I had finally found a thermal cup exactly like yours! It was exactly the same, and I wanted to buy it… I woke up before I bought it Lea. Does it have a meaning? Or am I simply missing you?

Exactly a week from today I’ll be in Banská Bystrica, at your grave, and I am scared. Be with me, please. I will love you always.