I'm not feeling so good right now. Today I started to feel bad about myself. How I wish I could have you in my arms like I did, and like I dreamt about doing again so many times. How I wish I could just hold you close and feel the scent of your hair, of your skin, of your breath, like I used to do. Remember?

The thing is that little by little the certainty that I won't do it again, not ever, is taking over me; it is taking peaces of me and leaving nothing in their place... It's hurting too much my love. I'm affraid I'm loosing grip, although most of the time I know what I should do from now on. When I think I'm beggining to react again, when I think I'm on the right track again, it comes all over again... You come all over again; my memories, your scent, the memory of your touch, the warmth of your lips in mine, your fragile fingers on my hair... Please Lea, help me not to let you go ever! Am I loosing my mind?

All I have is this place, where I imagine I talk to you, where I imagine you hear me. I miss you, and I miss me in a world where you existed. I love you so much. I am so sorry.